So we headed to Walmart today to do some family shopping. Everyone had their own little agenda. Alex wanted to look at the video games in anticipation of getting an Xbox for Christmas. I wanted to look at clothes for the kids, craft supplies, and anything Halloween related (specifically the make-up and jewelry). Autumn wanted to look at anything shiny, and Raven had planned to head straight to the tool and hardware section but got bamboozled into following the rest of us around to all of our destinations first. Finally we were done and so, reluctantly, we headed towards what I affectionately refer to as the "macho Man" section.
As luck would have it (for the kids not me) the macho man section is right beside the toys. So, the kids made a bee line for the toy section and I decided to sit on a bench that was somewhat in between each section. I was more concerned with being close enough to at least hear the kids and be someplace that they could see me if they needed me. I figured if someone tried to Kidnap raven he could handle himself lol. So he went off to do what ever men do in the tool section, Probably scratch themselves and brag about how big their hammers are, and I sat down and started thumbing through a magazine I'd tossed into the cart as we power walked through the greeting cards and books section.
I was sitting there long before I was joined on the bench by a 30's something Carson Kressly wanna be. He was dressed to the nines (not really Walmart style, especially in my town), had what were probably designer black leather boots on, I don't really know designers unless its Ed Hardy, I love his stuff. The guys shirt was unbuttoned about three buttons down showing off some expensive looking jewelry, again not my style, there were no skulls or Gothic looking crosses on his necklaces, and of course he had on sun glasses, yes, sunglasses, inside...Walmart. His hair was blond on top and dark brown to black underneath, cut short, slicked back and kind of combed to one side. It very loudly said to me, fuck you, I'm better than everyone.
He was quite a contrast to my long, uncombed reddish brown hair, pulled back in a pony tail. Faded blue jeans, black tank top, with black hoodie tied around my waist and my scuffed, worn out, black sneakers. Lets just say I doubt that he was very impressed with my attire. He didn't say anything as he sat down but he seemed to be slightly uncomfortable as if sitting next to a throw back to the hair band days was a cramp in his style. I didn't say anything to him either...at first.
He'd been there a few minutes when my kids came running up to me and asking for this and that to which I told them emphatically no, I'd spent enough on their clothes and cookies that they'd begged me for. Dejected, they slugged back off to the toy section, their little hopes and dreams crashed. I had to smile, I'd done my job well. The dude beside me chuckled a bit, which got my attention.
"And that's why I don't reproduce." He snorted.
I raised an eyebrow. "Why's that?" I had to ask.
"Kids suck the life and the money out of you." He said, looking me over. "I'm way too selfish to spend my money on anyone else."
"To each his own." I shrugged.
"Oh sweety don't get offended." He laughed.
"I'm not." I said.
"Kids are okay for someone that really wants them I guess. Just not for us."
"For us?" I had to ask.
"Gays." He chirped. "That's whats great about being gay. I don't have to worry about the whole family thing."
Suddenly I was very interested in what he was saying. "So, you're insinuating that gay men can't have kids?" I asked.
"Of course they can." He said. "But why would we want to?"
"Oh I don't know, maybe to enrich your life?"
"Oh I can think of better ways to enrich MY life." He chuckled again. "But just because it's not for me doesn't mean it's not for you. I have nothing against breeders and their need to procreate."
I was starting to get pissed now. "Oh my God!" I glared at him. "I soooo hate that term. You have no idea how offensive that is. I'm not cattle. And for your information having kids doesn't drain your life or whatever, my kids are my life and I find it kind of pathetic that you brag about being so selfish that you can't share your time or money with anyone else. To me that's just a cop out. I'm happy with my life. I'm sorry if your not."
"Oh I'm happy." He thumped his leg up and down on his knee as if he were getting annoyed. "I'm as happy as I'll ever be, my life is great!"
I smirked, "Honey, you're deluding yourself."
Now he glared back at me. "Oh no, you don't have the right to call me Honey! That's like a white person using the N word. That term is reserved for gays."
"Yeah whatever." I stood up. "I'll remember to tell my husband that."
"Sure." He snorted. "Like you have a husband."
I ignored his last comment and called to the kids then we went to find Raven.
When I did find him he was in the tool section talking with another guy about electric saws or some shit. I walked over to him and he put his arm around me. He went on talking to his new friend and I wasn't really paying attention until "Carson" suddenly came up and stood next to the other guy. We immediately glared at each other. "Oh look.." I said, "It's mister, Im better than you because Im gay and dont have kids!"
Raven and the other guy looked at each other then to the two of us who were by now staring at each other like a couple of cats about ready to strike. The poor guys were so confused, they had a look on their faces like what did I miss? Luckily our husbands/ boyfriend Idk what the other two were, pulled us away before any blood was shed. The best part though was the look I gave queer boy as I walked away, like yeah thats right, suck it bitch! My husbands way better looking than yours lol.
