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 Looking down into the darkness of depression

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Gender : Male Posts : 102
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Join date : 2018-09-24
Age : 41
Location : Ohio

Looking down into the darkness of depression Empty
PostSubject: Looking down into the darkness of depression   Looking down into the darkness of depression EmptyWed Nov 14, 2018 3:07 pm

Hi, for any of you that know me fairly well, you know that I have issues with depression. I've been doing pretty good lately but then today Depression has reared it's ugly head once again.

As a coping mechanism I employ writing and right now I can't concentrate on my creative writing so I decided instead to write about something that I am currently experiencing since it's fresh in my mind.
Some of you may already know this stuff, for some it could be new information.  For me it just helps to focuss my mind on something, anything really, to kind of pull myself out of this slump.

So, there are many different types of depression: Chronic depression, Bipolar, anxiety related depression etc... But, what ever type you have falls under one of two categories. Situational depression and Clinical depression.

So, what's the difference between the two?
Some key differences between situational and clinical depression will determine the type of treatment the person needs and the severity of the condition.
No type of depression is more "real" than another. Both can present significant challenges and threats to wellbeing.
However, knowing which type of depression is at the root of a persistent negative mood can support recovery.

Situational depression:
This is a short-term form of depression that occurs as the result of a traumatic event or change in a person's life.
Adjustment disorder with depressed mood is another name for this emotional state.
Triggers can include:

  • divorce
  • loss of a job
  • the death of a close friend
  • a serious accident
  • other major life changes, such as retirement

Situational depression stems from a struggle to come to terms with dramatic life changes. Recovery is possible once an individual comes to terms with a new situation.
For instance, following the death of a parent, it may take a while before a person can accept that a family member is no longer alive. Until acceptance, they may feel unable to move on with their life.
Symptoms can include:

  • listlessness
  • feelings of hopelessness and sadness
  • sleeping difficulties
  • frequent episodes of crying
  • unfocused anxiety and worry
  • loss of concentration
  • withdrawal from normal activities as well as from family and friends
  • suicidal thoughts

Most people who experience situational depression begin to have symptoms within 90 days of the triggering event.

Clinical Depression:
Clinical depression is more severe than situational depression.
It is also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. It is severe enough to interfere with daily function.
The Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-V) classifies clinical depression as a mood disorder.
Disturbances in levels of certain chemicals — known as neurotransmitters — may be to blame.
However, other factors are likely to play a role, for example:

  • genetic factors may influence an individual's response to an experience or event
  • major life events can trigger negative emotions, such as anger, disappointment, or frustration
  • alcohol and drug dependence also have links to depression

Depression can also alter a person's thought processes and bodily functions.

Diagnosing depression:
For a formal diagnosis of clinical depression, a person must meet the criteria outlined in the DSM.
A person must show five or more symptoms from a specific list of criteria, over a 2-week period, for most of nearly every day.
The symptoms should be severe enough that they substantially reduce the person's ability to perform regular duties and routines.
At least one of the symptoms must be a depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure.
Other signs and symptoms include:

  • depressed mood or constant irritability
  • significantly reduced interest or feeling no pleasure in activities
  • significant weight loss or weight gain
  • a decrease or increase in appetite
  • insomnia or an increased desire to sleep
  • restlessness or slowed behavior
  • tiredness or loss of energy
  • feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt
  • trouble making decisions or concentrating
  • recurrent thoughts of death or suicide or a suicide attempt

Some people with clinical depression experience delusions, hallucinations, and other psychotic disturbances.
These do not generally occur in people with situational depression.

These are definitions that I have copied from
and they are pretty accurate. Personally, I have clinical depression. That's not to say that I don't ever experience situational depression, or that my depression isn't made worse or triggered by events in my life because it is. What this means to me is that I can suddenly fall into a depressive state without any cause or warning. Nothing happened to make me depressed, it's just a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes an adverse reaction to environmental stimuli.

On a more personal note, I can tell you that whatever the cause (if there is one) feeling this way sucks ass. It's like all the light in the world has suddenly been sucked out. I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't move.  I want to sit in a chair and stare out a window and not interact with anything or anyone, or I want to go to bed and stay there until it passes. Small things upset me and make me feel like life is empty or hopeless.  I do have recurring thoughts of harming myself or even killing myself but unless I'm really really in a dark place I don't act on them.

There's a difference between wanting to be dead and hearing a voice in the back of your mind telling you that you would be better off dead. Would I be better off dead? I don't know, maybe, probably.
Do I want to die? No, not at all. Would life be easier if I were dead? Easier for who? It's a redundant question because certainly my life would not be easier, it would be over, but I wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. I'm fairly certain that the people who love me wouldn't find it any easier to deal with either.

I would say that in most cases I more or less consider how the pain I feel daily whether its physical or mental would cease were I to die, but I'm content to allow it to happen naturally, in its right time, though there are days when I do feel as if I've fought long enough, suffered long enough, and dealt with my shit long enough that death would be more than welcomed. On these days I just feel so drained and lacking of energy that I can't possible fight another day and all I want is that sweet release from everything but like I said, all in do time. I'm in no hurry to leave my children and my family. I fight for them, not for me, because in all honesty, I'm done. If I didn't have people that loved me and relied on me to take care of them, yeah I'd be ready to go. Whether this is the depression talking or just my own sense of time running out I have no idea, it's just how I feel at this particular moment.

Thanks for reading. Love you all.

Looking down into the darkness of depression Gayvam10
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Gender : Female Posts : 93
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PostSubject: Re: Looking down into the darkness of depression   Looking down into the darkness of depression EmptyWed Nov 14, 2018 3:13 pm

Candy Heart i have depression too , yes its a pain in the bottom , hugs and love xoxox
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