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 When it rains it pours- and then some

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Sessy
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Gender : Male Posts : 74
Points : 195
Popularity : 11
Join date : 2018-09-24
Age : 41
Location : Ohio

20181102
PostWhen it rains it pours- and then some

Dealing with a house hold consisting of two young children, one adult child, two parents, four cats, and one dog can be somewhat overwhelming, more so when one of those children has autism. On a normal day I sometimes feel like I'm going bat shit crazy, but when faced with extenuating circumstances, things which I mostly have no control over, well, it's enough to put me in the nut house.

Yesterday was such a day. For the past four days or so we've had nothing but rain, non-stop. This not only caused my mood to be a bit down but also caused more stressed on our family because the kids were stuck inside, the adults were reluctant to do anything that needed done, and then there was the issue with my mother.  Last week my mom had told me that my step dad was having someone come by to look at our roof and give an estimate as to how much it would cost to fix it/ paint it (we have a metal roof). The plan was to have him come by on that following Friday to do the actual work. Well Thursday he never showed. Friday he never showed. So I called my mom and asked about it. She said that he was still planning to do the roof but that he had a lot of other work to do and it may take longer to get to it then he originally told us.

That was fine, for now. But then yesterday we got a pretty bad shock when the roof over the kitchen started leaking, and leaking bad.  My first thought was that it was a leak in the roof though we weren't entirely sure because there was no sign of leakage in any of the upstairs rooms. I called my step dad and asked about the roof guy, when was he coming to do the roof because we have a leak and I didn't really know what to do about it. My dad called him and the guy said that he would be able to come the following day at five PM. I said that was fine and that Raven and I would what we could to contain the leak.  Mostly I was going to pray for the rain to stop lol.

Well, in the mean time Raven climbed up into the attic to check the roof and discovered that the roof was not leaking. After that he went to the basement and shut off the main power line and low and behold no more leak. It was then that we realized we had a busted water line. About that time, my mom called me and said that my dad was on his way up with his friend to check the roof. I told her about the water line but the guys had already left and weren't able to get the message.

So, here is the issue at hand. When my dad and his buddy showed up they came in and wanted to see where the leak was. I'll admit that yes the kitchen was a mess. We had taken all the electronic stuff out and piled it up on the dining room table, the counters and floor was soaked, it was like a flood in there and I had towels all over the place. I had also moved some shelves out of the way to mop up the water behind them and found some junk that had fallen behind the shelf so I swept it out into the middle of the floor and was getting ready to put it all in the trash when my dad showed up. I also had a cardboard box that was supposed to go to the basement before the flood but was now falling apart and the contents spilling out.  I used my foot and pushed that mess to the side so the guys could get into the kitchen. 

On top of this I had dishes in the sink (God forbid I have a sink full of dishes when the water is shut off) and I hadn't taken the trash bags out yet, they were sitting against the wall in the dinning room. There were three of them and as mom said, that just looked trashy. Of course the state of my kitchen was then retold to my mother who called me and complained because she was so embarrassed to have Tom's friend enter my house when it wasn't spot less. There were dirty clothes in my laundry room, God forbid, with five people in the house, one of which still wears diapers, I didn't have all the clothes washed and put away.

There was also a fort made of chairs, diaper boxes, and furniture covers in the living room. (Yeah, I have kids, what do you expect?) Well, all of this was unacceptable. I should have spent the day cleaning and making sure the leak in four feet of my ceiling didn't cause a mess. Forget the fact that I was more worried about everything in my kitchen, the walls, the floor, and the ceiling being damaged, I should have been more concerned with cleaning.

So, when my mom calls, she's pissed but also she's crying and saying how embarrassed she was and she doesn't understand why I can't keep the house cleaner and then she didn't get this house for me to rent it out, I'm buying it and I'm responsible for repairs so I can't rely on her to pay to fix everything all the time. Then she starts complaining about all the money they had to pay out to have their septic system emptied (for those of you that don't know, my parents are seriously rich. Like, she could have paid cash for my house and not even made a dent in her bank account. My dad had paid 25 thousand cash for a new truck which became their 4th vehicle.) I'm not saying that she should pay for my stuff, I'm just saying I don't like hearing about her so called financial problems. It's like Trump complaining to a homeless person that his house is too small.

I told my mom that I never had any intention of asking her to pay to fix the plumbing. I had originally thought that it was a leaking roof, which she had OFFERED to have fixed when we first bought this house five years ago! I only told her that it was a busted water line so that my dad wouldn't have to worry about a leak in the roof while it was raining because it wasn't the roof. When I told her this she then started crying saying that now everyone is going to think it's her responsibility to fix the leak and that it's not fair to her. (This is when she turns everything onto her and makes it all about her.) I told her that was just ridiculous. No one was going to think that nor care what she fixes or doesn't fix because everyone just thinks that I am buying the house. Very few people even know that it's in her name.

I just hate how she can take my problems and make them all about her and most of the time it's about how she will be viewed by others, what people will think of her. I fucking could care less what people think of her when I have a fucking lake in my kitchen! Her social status is seriously the least of my concerns at this point. Normally my mom is really great and I do love her, but she's a total snob and she's always trying to keep up with the Jones's. That really annoys me about her. I mean, it's not like she even really came from money. Her father was a coal minor. Her mother worked in a factory till she retired. Her grandparents were farmers. My step dad is a farmer and an electrician, that's where the money comes from. My mom got married at 18 and worked as a cashier for many years before getting a job as a teachers assistant and then after going to college in her 30's worked as the medical assistant for a school, eventually became the center coordinator for the school, retired and now she drives the Amish around. By the time I was born we were pretty well off, but when my older siblings were growing up, they were lucky to have a meal three times a day and a roof over their heads, so yeah, my mom wasn't a rich snob growing up, that all came later.

She needs to remember what its like to sit on hand me down furniture, use food stamps, and shop at good-will cause honestly, I'm ready to tell her to take her financial issues and stuff em up her ass!

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When it rains it pours- and then some :: Comments

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Re: When it rains it pours- and then some
Post on Sat Nov 03, 2018 8:03 pm by Disa
I just wanted to say I read your post. I'm so sorry to hear about all of it, really. It's a lot to deal with. (I have a mom who also makes everyone else's issues about her. She's just always a victim no matter what anyone else is going through. She can never make a situation better, but she's really good at kicking people when they're down.)

I hope you can get the water pipe issue resolved soon. Maybe your mom could come clean your house, that way it would be done to her satisfaction and in her time frame.

Wishing you guys all the best. I know you have a lot on your plate. There isn't much I can do in this situation, but I hear you. xoxoxox
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Re: When it rains it pours- and then some
Post on Sat Nov 03, 2018 10:31 pm by Sessy
Thank you hun, sometimes just being there to lend an ear is the best thing that you can do. I use writing as a therapy tool to help me get my frustrations out and I always welcome and appreciate comments from my readers. Huggss Love you.
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Re: When it rains it pours- and then some
Post on Sun Nov 04, 2018 7:43 am by daydreamer1 (Online)
yeah thats isnt cool, sounds like a mother to be honest though, they nit pick, and if its not about them then its not at all important, pending on situation, sorry abt the kitchen, and how she thought it was messy, thats so completely normal for it to be your right , hugs
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Re: When it rains it pours- and then some
Post on Sun Nov 04, 2018 12:34 pm by Disa
Sess, YW. I agree writing is good therapy. I'm grateful I had a teacher in 4th grade who encouraged us to keep a journal. Then she encouraged me to keep writing. I processed a lot of crap through those journals over the course of several years. xoxox

IDK, DD. I don't think that's how a mother is supposed to be at all. Mothers are supposed to look out for the best interest of the child, be supportive emotionally if nothing else. Sounds like we've all had our share of crappy mothering, but I don't think that's how they all are. xoxox
 

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