So Raven and I had a few friends over and we all started drinking. By the end of the night it was just me, Raven, and David, a friend of ours. We were sitting around talking and pretty well wasted by this point and started talking about fishing trips and different things we'd caught or encountered and this is the conversation that ensued...
Raven: So what's the weirdest thing you ever caught?
Me: I caught a Wally once.
Raven: You mean a walleye?
Me: Yeah but I think his name was wally.
Raven: How would a fish have a name?
Me: Maybe it was Burt...
Raven: Umm..okay....
David: I caught some strange looking cat fish before.
Raven: Oh really? That's cool, what did they look like?
David: They had like these things and then they had like four eyes and things coming out of their heads and they were orange and brown and black and hard like..not like rocks...but their skin was mutanated like hard...stuff....
Raven: Dude, I think you caught a lobster
David: Yeah they tasted like lobster!
Me: Ewww you eatted mutationed cat fish?
David: Yeah but they tasted good, like lobster
Raven: That's probably because they were probably lobster.
David: You think so?
Raven: (shrugs) probably.
David: wow...(looks totally lost)
Me: My dad caught a boot once!
Raven: That's not a fish.
Me:Yeah it was a boot fish!
Raven: No such thing.
Me: But it was in the water and it was swimming around and my dad fished it out.
Raven: Still not a fish...
Me: Oh yeah! Then what was it mister smarty pants?
Raven: ....A Boot....
Me: Oh....a boot isn't a fish?
Raven: No.
Me: Okay...(looking sad)
David: Well this one time I was stranded on a deserted island and...
Raven: When the hell were you on a deserted island!?
David: It was like...I don't know...stop interrupting! I was on a deserted island!
Raven: Were you shipped wrecked there?
David: No, we were having a cook out.
Raven: On a deserted island?
David: Yes! That's what I said.
Raven: Who is we?
David: What?
Raven: You said we were having a cook out. Who is We?
David: (shrugs) me and some friends.
Raven: so there were others on the island?
David: Yeah a lot of us.
Raven: Then it wasn't deserted.
David: Fuck you! we were on an island!
Me: moving on...
David: anyway I put the beer in the water to keep it cool and i went down to grab some out...
Raven: You didn't have a cooler?
David: What? Yeah we had a cooler.
Raven: Then why wasn't the beer in the cooler?
David: Cause the cooler was full of fish.
Raven: You brought fish with you to an island?
David: What the fuck! Do, we caught the fish.
Raven: then why didn't you put the fish in the water and leave the beer in the cooler?
Me: because they were drunk! (Laughs hysterically and falls off the couch).
Raven and David just stare at me for a minute then continue as if I'm not there lol
David: So anyway, I go into the water and to get the fis...errr the beer and I see a fish. It was a long silver torpedo like fish with a mouth fulls of razor sharp teeth and its hauling ass right to me and Im like fucking christ its a barraooocooza!
Me:A whatta whosa?
David: A barraooocooza!
Raven: (laughing) what the fuck is a barracoooza?
David: I just said dude arnt you listening? A long silver fish with fangs bro!
Me: (Still laughing hysterically) A Barracuda?
David: Yeah one of them things.
Raven: We're you in the ocean?
David: No it was lake Erie.
Raven: Dude there are no barracuda in lake Erie.
David: Maybe it swam in from the ocean.
Raven: Not possible. They would die in fresh water.
Me: It was the lake Erie sea monster (laughing)
David: No it wasn't I seen that mother fucker once too!
Raven: Dude, what were you drinking?
David: Beer. Thats it just beer.
Raven: So did you get the beer out of the lake or did you run away?
David: fuck no I stood on the rocks and threw the beer cans at the barracooza!
Raven: (laughing) why the hell did you do that? Its a waste of good beer!
David: Didn't want them things coming on land and eating us when were asleep.
Raven: Fish can't come on land!
David: This one could it had legs!
Me: Barracuda don't have legs! Were you fucking stoned?
David: I may have been but this fucker had legs, and a barcode...
Raven: A bar code?
David: Yeah, like from Walmart
Raven: You sure you weren't just looking at a fishing lure that someone dropped in the water?
David: (Thinks for a minute) Maybe it didn't have legs. It might have had hooks sticking out of it.
Raven:Dude you were attacked by a fishing lure! (Laughs hysterically)
David: (Takes another drink) It scared the fuck out of me though, that's all I know.
